In the House: EP5 An Introduction W. Rebekah Robinson

Ezi   

Nobody gets to where they are alone. There's always somebody in your journey who guides you, encourages you, inspires you, or helps you in ways big or small to become the person that you are, and or to do the things that you do. 

Ezi   

Rebekah Robinson is a fourth year student here at the University of Toronto, and she's been helping me bring this podcast to you over the last few months. 

Ezi   

I feel like it's Rebekah's time to shine, and it's my pleasure to introduce her to you. So without further ado, meet Rebekah. 

Ezi   

Today, I've got Rebekah Robinson with me, Rebekah is a fourth year student at UofT, and she's also the co-producer for Living Well. *cheers* 

Ezi   

I'm certainly grateful. So, Rebekah has been working tirelessly on the back end, supporting the podcast helping with the editing, helping with the actual episodes, helping with the transcript, and it's her time to shine.  

Rebekah   

Aw, thank you. 

Ezi   

So, Black History Month episode holds a dear place in our hearts as black women. And so I thought, why not? Why not? Let's have her host this one. So, I figured we'd do it In the House episode with Rebekah before that episode, so that you can get to know her. 

Ezi   

Welcome, Rebekah! 

Rebekah   

Thank you so much for having me here. I'm excited to be on the mic, actually, instead of behind the scenes, but it's really cool. It's exciting. 

Ezi   

So tell the folks about yourself, tell them what you're studying. What's your background? What your interests are? 

Ezi   

Yeah, 

Rebekah   

Yeah, so like, as you mentioned, I'm a fourth year student at U of T, I have a double major in history in Russian language and literature. And I have a minor of practical French. So yes, for those who may be confused, that means that I do speak French and Russian. I've been studying both of those languages for many years now, French for over 14 years and Russian for about the last eight to nine years. So yeah, I just have a passion for languages and like communicating and like talking to different people trying to get different perspectives and things like that. I'm originally from the United States. So I grew up just outside of Baltimore, I went to school in Baltimore for most of my life. And I came to Canada to come to university to study here at U of T. So, I was drawn in by the "multicultural" tourism thing that they tend to promote, you know, out there into the world, literally knowing nothing about Toronto or Canada's history at all before coming here, it really was a shot in the dark. And now I'm here, and I've learned a lot, I've learned a lot about Canadian history, I learned a lot of just about like blackness in Canada, too. That's always been a really interesting experience to try to relate back to my family, because most of my family is not super aware of like, what it means to be Canadian, let alone a black Canadian. So yeah, I've learned a lot of things through osmosis, just through interactions with like, people, institutions, but having taken some courses this year, specifically on black Canadian history. It makes me feel like a lot of the things that I've experienced are justified. There's a history, there's like receipts, this track record of all of these practices being implemented. So, it's not just something that I thought I made up in my mind. I'm like, No, this actually like, is grounded in real historical interactions that continue to happen. So yeah. 

Ezi   

Russian and French? 

Rebekah   

 Yeah... 

Ezi   

There are other things that you said that are interesting, but why Russian? Why French? 

Rebekah   

I think that's a really good question, and it's one I get a lot. Um, I started French, like when I was super young, and I just loved the idea of it being a puzzle. So trying to figure out like, oh, if I say this, then it means this, it felt like a secret code, almost like a secret language that I could fool people with. But then as I like, got better at it, I can actually, like, have conversations with people and be exposed to a different kind of worldview that I wouldn't necessarily get that would be translated into English. And then Russian was kind of a high school thing. So, my high school offered a double language track. And I was like, I don't know Russian seems kind of like another puzzle to figure out, why not do that one. And in the course of like, studying it, I realized that there's actually a lot of similarities.There's a lot of like, words borrowed from French into Russian as well, because fun fact: the Russian imperial court used to speak French, so a lot of those, like high flowery words got adopted into the vocabulary. So, my favorite example of a cognate is cauchemar. Cauchemar is the same in both French and Russian meaning nightmare. So I don't know. I think that's really interesting. 

Ezi   

Of all words! 

Rebekah   

Exactly, yeah! *chuckles* There's a bunch of other examples, but that's my favorite one.  

Ezi   

It is a cool one: cauchemar. Now, I know French and Russian word.  

Rebekah   

There you go. 

Ezi   

Ah, so you're also saying history. So what's the passion there? 

Rebekah   

History, it actually didn't start in high school. In fact, like, I didn't take many history courses in high school. But the ones that I did end up taking that were required of me, it was really cool to see how these events that we seemed like to relegate to the past, actually have effects on like, contemporary life. And I noticed this especially because, so I graduated high school in like the 2016-2017. school year. So this is right around like the US presidential election, a very contentious year, very difficult year to be in school, I would say. 

Rebekah   

But yeah, just kind of reckoning with the idea that these events don't take place in a vacuum, like they don't happen in isolation. So, each event that happens after that is a product of something that happened before. And that's not something a lot of people are aware of, and a lot of people that tend to think that studying history means like memorizing people, and memorizing dates, and like these really sometimes random useless facts, but like, it's a matter of understanding the like, not the super specific aspects of the history, but just like the themes, the themes that continue to carry on 

Rebekah   

through over time, and unfortunately, we have a lot of things in our contemporary day that are themes that have been here for centuries, and not a lot of people realize that like, yeah, this is a product of things that have happened in the past, they just kind of tend to forget that or just aren't aware of it.  

Ezi   

So right, the cultural and contemporary significance of the things, not just the things themselves. 

Rebekah   

 Exactly. 

Ezi   

Um, so you know, as you're learning black Canadian history, I think it's an interesting intersection between, you know, your identity as an American, a black American person, because, you know, it feels like us in North America. I mean, those of us who don't live under a rock, like, you know, are plugged in quite significantly to American themes and ideas, right. So a lot of people know, you know, the history of the transatlantic slave trade in America, right. Canada loves to do that thing of distancing itself from those kinds of atrocities and those kinds of histories. 

Ezi   

So, as a black American, then where that history is actually quite predominant in your cultural narrative. What is it, what was it like learning and understanding those nuances about Canada? 

Rebekah   

I think it required a lot of unlearning, because I remember when I first came here, I asked a friend who was also a black Canadian, and I was like, so what is, what is up with the black Canadians? Like, what's that experience like? And they were like, yeah, it's not really a thing here, we don't really have that same kind of black Canadian identity that you might identify with as being African American. And I thought that was kind of weird, because I was like, Hmm, I feel like that's not true. I feel like there's, there's plenty of different like, black Canadian here who have an identifiable culture, but, you know, we might not be super aware of it. So I guess one of the things that I learned was, you know, there's different waves of immigration, that kind of treat this idea of like black identity very differently, right? Because when I come into black spaces in Canada, like I'm hyper aware of the fact that like, my culture is like American culture, which feels weird to say out loud, but in comparison to other people who might have other different ethnic identities, like, I don't have, like a specific place or region, or traditions that I can point to, that don't exist outside of the context of slavery that have happened in the United States. So, I guess coming to Canada is trying to figure out like, how do you reckon with the idea that like, there are black Canadians, and then there's also other black people, people of African descent that don't necessarily identify with this label? I feel like it's not as big I feel like it's more specific here in Canada, um, where in the US, I think tend to, I think it tends to be more broad, which has its has benefits and kind of, you know, what's the opposite of benefits? *chuckles* Pitfalls 

Ezi   

pros and cons? 

Rebekah   

Has pros and cons. So, um, yeah, that's one of the things that I've been trying to tease out a little bit since I've been here.  

Ezi   

So also, I mean, you came here as a student, right to be a student, international student? It's interesting, right? When we think about an international student, what pops into mind is not necessarily our North American peers, right. 

Rebekah   

 100%. 

Ezi   

So from that particular lens, what is it been like being an international student at U of T?  

Rebekah   

Yeah, I remember getting that question a lot in my first year when I would tell people that I'm an international student, they're like, you're from the US. You're not an international student. And I'm like, if I'm not an international student, then tell that to my international tuition, because that's what I'm paying. *laughter* 

Rebekah   

So, yeah, the Canadian government doesn't seem to think so. 

Rebekah   

I don't know. It's interesting, because I feel like when it came to me, I guess "assimilating" into Canada or at least easing into my transition, there wasn't too many jarring things. I feel like I was able to transition rather smoothly, in comparison to like some of my other friends who came from contexts outside of like the North American context. 

Rebekah   

But I feel like there were still moments that were rather jarring. I would say that like, I wasn't expecting to be very different and because they were different. I was like, hmph, that's weird. That's different. And so I noticed that a lot in like the social interactions between people, mostly outside of academic contexts, like I'm talking between friends, when you visit friends houses, there's certain customs that we don't really do in the US that I wasn't super aware of, and just how people tend to talk to one another. I was like, oh, this is different. Like, I wasn't expecting that to be the case. 

Rebekah   

So yeah, I can't pinpoint to, like an exact specific example. But it's that feeling I get when I'm in a space that feels a little bit out of my element. I'm like, oh, no, wait, this is different. Like, I thought it was gonna be the same, but it's not it doesn't feel the same. 

Rebekah   

So yeah, those I think that's been the most...I think that's been the point where there's been the most growth because I've been able to like, understand how people live differently in that way, but sometimes it's a little confusing, because everyone loves to make fun of Americans for like behaving a certain way. I'm like, Canadians can be kind of weird to sometimes too? *laughter* 

Ezi   

Fair statement. There's oddities in every culture, right. 

Ezi   

Also oddities by virtue of the fact that there's some, there's difference, right? And so yeah, you have to recommend that. What's the weirdest Canadian thing that you think? 

Rebekah   

That's a great question: *sigh* I don't know one of the things that comes to mind, and this might just be from like, my own personal context, but I always find it really interesting that people are so, this is a random, random example, but like people take off their shoes when they enter people's homes. Like, I feel like we should be doing that more in the States. But I can pretty much guarantee that whenever I 

Rebekah   

go into a friend's house, I've never really felt like the need or like been compelled to take off my shoes, because it would feel weird to be walking around in my socks in somebody else's house. I don't know. That is like a weird context that I've come to enjoy being here, but it was very weird at first. I was like, wait, what are we doing? Even people's dorm rooms like not even people's houses like you would go into someone else's dorm room, and you're like, expected to take off your shoes before entering the room. And I was like, what's happening? What is this? 

Ezi   

I mean, it does make sense 

Rebekah   

Especially, like in the winter, it definitely makes sense. But any other time of year. I'm like, this is weird. Like, I don't want to be barefoot in your house. 

Ezi   

But you know what to like, Canadians do laugh at Americans about that, but there's lots of other countries in which it would make sense to keep on your shoes just because of the realities of climate and what's running around -- going around. So it does depend, right. Like it has to be context specific. So just because it's, you know, weird here to not take off your shoes, doesn't mean it wouldn't be acceptable elsewhere. So that's cool. 

Ezi   

Um, yeah. So I mean, you're also student living in the reality of corona. You said, you left high school with the tumultuous election, you know, you're leaving university with, you know, another I mean, tumultuous election in a sense, well not in a sense. *chuckles* 

Ezi   

But then also beyond elections, right? also just the reality of COVID. So, how have you been, you know, trying to keep yourself well, and or just, you know, letting yourself live in the fact that maybe you're not what's the experience been like?  

Rebekah   

That's a really great question, because I've been talking to a lot of my friends about this rather recently. Because I think first semester, I was just very much aware of the fact that like, okay, online classes is a thing, we just have to suck it up and get through it, there was a promise or not a promise, there was maybe a glint of hope that we might be able to return to in-person classes second semester, and there were just some things to like, look forward to that maybe things would change second semester. So, I think that's what really got me through first semester, like, it's fine. It's not all for not, like, we might have hope in the future. So, let's just keep riding on that. It was really disappointing not to have access to some of my favorite extracurricular activities that kind of allow me to engage in that wellness thing for me, it's playing volleyball. I love playing volleyball. Volleyball doesn't love me back, but that's okay. I still play. But yeah, it's been really hard not having access to the gym in order to like, use that as like a space to just work on myself and like, have that time for myself. I also really love to play the piano, but I also don't have access to a piano in my dorm room. And so usually my residence hall has music rooms that we're allowed to use, but because of the pandemic, they're closed. So that's usually a way that I like to escape and kind of, you know, gather my thoughts but haven't been able to do that. So, it's required getting creative with some different things that I can do in my room in order to try to mimic that sense of release, mimic that sense of like comfort. It doesn't help that I'm far from my family. 

Rebekah   

Yeah, like I FaceTime them every day, multiple times a day, my mom's probably tired of it -- I call her like four or five times a day. 

Ezi   

 I'm sure she's not. *chuckles* Let's call mom and ask her. 

Rebekah   

exactly a cold calling mom. 

Rebekah   

No, I'm sure she loves it. But it's really hard because, you know, they, they miss me as much as I miss them and not being able to travel home for the holidays, because of like travel restrictions and not wanting to quarantine for basically a month like that was not really in my cards. So, that's made things really difficult to like focus on wellness at the same time, like you said, I'm a student snd there's like a demand from the institution to still generate and produce work as if we weren't in a pandemic, you know? 

Rebekah   

To just read, and there's nothing else to do, so nothing else to distract me from doing my readings, so then when I don't feel like doing my readings, it just feels like that much harder, because you can't even reward yourself for getting through it because you just have more to do so. And then coming into second semester, it's increasingly becoming more and more scary, because I don't know where I'll be after I graduate. So, I don't know if that means going back home, I'm in the process of applying to some master's programs. But if that doesn't work out, then I have to start looking for a job and in this economy, *chuckles* like that seems to be really difficult. So especially for someone who studies history. *chuckles*  So, yeah, those are those moments of uncertainty and like, not really sure what this is all leading to is kind of kind of terrifying, and I've tried to make peace with it, but it becomes harder and harder every day. 

Ezi   

I mean, those are really valid concerns. Um, you know, I'm not a brightside-er, in the sense that I'm, you know, I don't always think that you have to look at the bright side of something. I think it's fair to honor, you know, those concerns and those feelings, right, for a period and then, and then it'll also give you space then to: Okay, what can I do?  

Ezi   

So, I think that's fair. Those are good concerns. You know, you know where I'm at, so we can connect about jobs. But, a couple points for the people listening at home, if you have a keyboard, give it to Rebekah *chuckles* 

Rebekah   

Please and thank you!   

Ezi   

We'll include her, we'll include her social. So, you know, feel free to pop over a message...but yeah, no, I mean, in all seriousness, like, you know, those outlets are important. And it'd be interesting to see if there's opportunities for the university to consider those kinds of things, and how they would right? 

Rebekah   

Yeah, I just think there's a lot more considerations that kind of needs to go into understanding what the student experience looks like, from the online perspective, because I think at the beginning of the term, there were surveys sent out like: Oh, what is your kind of situation in this moment where you're trying to join an online classes, but no one's really considering things outside of the academic sphere? Like, no one's really questioning, like, I'm also an RA, at New College, and so I feel really bad for first year students, right? Like, how do you kind of introduce them to this massive institution without really helping them help guide or transition them through there. So, there's just access to things that would allow you to meet people make you feel like you're a part of the community that are kind of missing in this moment, and I don't know if the university's done a good enough job at trying to address those out with those challenges. Because I think that's what's really failing a lot of students right now feeling like, their only job is to be a student and is to study when that's not true. Like we are human beings who just happen to be students in this moment, but that doesn't mean that we don't need access to other spaces and activities that allow us to feel like human beings.  

Ezi   

Right. So that's also a good question about survey design, right? Like, what is it that you're really trying to ask, and who have you asked about what do you need to ask? So, and definitely, you know, it's a novel situation. So there's, you know, I'm staff, so, I know, there's staff, people who were thinking about it and trying to, but that doesn't mean that they can't do better and ask you more direct questions that get to your experience.  

Rebekah   

Yeah, I think that's also really fair, too. And I think that like, because the situation has been increasingly unprecedented. Like, you know, I've kind of allowed that to make sense to me, but we've also been in this pandemic for almost a full year, and like almost going through two school years, at this point. So, I just think there needs to be a little bit more interrogation as to what's going on, especially if they anticipate that's going into the next school year. Some serious questions need to be asked. 

Ezi   

I can get down with that question and perspective. Absolutely. For sure, for sure, for sure. So principle question of living well, is what does it mean to live and be well, to you? 

Rebekah   

I love that question. I think it's really beautiful because you can get a variety of answers. And I guess how I would answer that question would be for me, it's like my relationships with people who I get to communicate with, if not on a regular basis, even on like a semi regular basis. But, I think this year and this pandemic has really taught me that my relationships with my friends with my family are literally the most important thing that will always help keep me going and if I didn't have them throughout this time, I genuinely don't know if I would have been able to get this far. So for me, it's having those strong relationships, it's pouring into them as much as they help to, like build me up. So making sure to check in with my friends, making sure to like check in with my family, because I know that a lot of them are struggling as well, checking in with my grandparents, I've been calling my grandparents a lot more frequently than I probably ever have, but it's like to check in and make sure that they're doing okay too. My family started this like tradition almost at the beginning of the pandemic, where we would do weekly Zoom calls. So, it'd be like my mom's entire extended side of the family, and we get on a call and just do updates. And, my cousin has a little one year old, and so just watching him grow and starting to walk and those things, it's made that distance, because we're all across the country, right -- across North America at this point, um, and just trying to build that into our routines, because that's kind of what helps sustain me. So, wellness for me is in the little crevices of my relationships and how they make me feel whole. 

Ezi   

Yeah, I'm always one to say that, like, people are my greatest... I don't wanna say resource, because I don't wanna say it's something like I use, but resource, for lack of a better word, right? Like, I wouldn't be anywhere without people, you know.  

Rebekah   

Yeah, and the stories that they share, I mean, that's why I love this job working with this team, working with podcasting because I get to hear so many different stories from so many different people, even if it's just me on the back end listening to them, you know, hearing those conversations is like what makes this job super fun because people tell stories in different ways, and I think that's beautiful.  

Ezi   

Yeah. Who are some of your favorite storytellers then?  

Rebekah   

Oh, that's such a challenging question! *chuckles* Um, I don't know, I'm mean, kind of what comes to mind is that I'm a really big fan of Toni Morrison's work, Beloved, was my favorite book that we read in high school. Over the summer, I read The Bluest Eye, and I just, I love the way that her, she uses almost like magical realism in that sort of sense, because that's my ideal kind of fiction is, you know, not too, not too real, but just real enough that you can feel it, but there's like some supernatural elements tossed in there, too. So, and I also read The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates over the summer, and that was really beautiful. It was like in a similar style. So, I really appreciate works like that, that infuse, tradition and history, of course! So, any story like that, has been really cool. And, I also recently got into a lot of science fiction stories over the summer as well, or rather recently, reading N.K. Jemisin's, like collection of short stories. So, that's been really beautiful, too. I've been trying to just feed my mind with more works by other black authors, because I feel like, especially with what I study. We don't get enough of that. So, trying to allow myself to really soak in those words, because there's a lot of really important things to say there.  

Ezi   

Yeah, I don't know if you're familiar with the Son of Baldwin. It's like, it's really, his name is Robert Jones, Jr., but his handle on sociali is @SonOfBaldwin, and he is this beautiful commentator and one of his favorite. I mean, it's probably, I mean, other than Baldwin himself, his next favorite writer is Toni Morrison. Yeah, and Robert Jones, Jr. just came out with this book called The Prophets, and I'm looking up at it, that's what I keep looking at that. I'm looking at it right now being like, please, please, I just waiting for my workday to end. Crack that one page open. So that's a book suggestion, if you like that kind of stuff, and I think it is actually, it takes place in a historical time and comes to a present, not this present, but a present.  

Rebekah   

That's exciting.  

Ezi   

Yeah. Um, so Black History Month is a coming up! 

Rebekah   

Woohoo! My favorite month! *chuckles* 

Ezi   

And so, tell the folks about the episode that you're gonna be hosting!  

Rebekah   

Absolutely. I'm really excited because this episode is going to be titled Black Beauties. And so we're just going to be unpacking what beauty and blackness, kind of, have intertwined. What's going on between those two things? How do we understand beauty in the black community? How do we understand how those two words can kind of create and generate its own sort of special field as well? So we're going to talk with different artists and creatives in different industries and different fields and getting their take and perspective on what beauty means for them, especially as black creators, so I'm looking forward to that and that conversation! 

Ezi   

Oh yeah! We have some good good guests a coming. So, black aesthetics and wellness.  

Rebekah   

Stay tuned!  

Ezi   

Yes, Rebekah, any final thoughts or words or anything you want to share before we take off?  

Rebekah   

I think I'm just really excited to get involved in storytelling. This is something that I've been working towards, and I haven't had too many things published or put out in the open, I usually write and produce this content for myself. But, it's really cool to have it out in the open and sharing with other folks and you know, I hope people get to interact and engage with it. And, you know, maybe ask some questions and respond to things on social media. So, I really hope that you take these episodes into consideration when thinking about how you want to channel living well, in this wild, wild world that we live in. 

Ezi   

Wild, wild, wild world. Yes, it's like a saloon out here these days. 

Ezi   

Literally, people showin up with guns in the public. Jesus, Lord, *chuckles* 

Rebekah   

Oh, gosh, God help us all. 

Ezi   

God help us all, but, you know, we have our people, people like you to help make things you know, go just a little bit smoother and just a little bit brighter, so for that we are grateful. Yeah. So thank you for joining me, folks, stay tuned. You're gonna hear Rebekah doing a brilliant job, I have faith, I have no doubt, for our next episode. 

Rebekah   

Take care y'all! 

Ezi   

It's Black History Month, and so I want to ask you, yes, you. You as an individual, you as a member of society, you as a person in this world, what are you doing to make the lives of black people, trans black people, cisgendered men and women, black boys and girls have black people, however they identify, what are you doing to make their lives better? And I don't mean walking up to a black person and saying: Hi, black person, I see you. 

Ezi   

No, no, no. What are you doing to make the world more just from wherever you are? Think about it.