Voicemails for Dede

Rebekah
Hey, everyone, it's Rebekah here in The West Meeting Room, and it is the end of the semester, and the summer is rapidly approaching. It's the time of year where I would usually be making preparations to go back home and visit my family and my friends. And of course, a very very important member in my life. I mean, some people might go as far to say that it's my one true love. I mean, I am in fact some people... but because of COVID travel restrictions in place, it's not super feasible to make this journey at the moment, so it's been postponed for a little while longer. Over the past four years, I have been involved in a long-distance relationship. I mean, more like a one-sided long-distance relationship. A certain furry friend of mine doesn't seem to pick up the phone whenever I call. And that got me thinking...

[Phone rings and rings before going to voicemail]

Automated Voicemail Voice
Please leave your message

**Beep**

Rebekah
Hey baby! I miss you. Wow, today's weather really had me missing our walks. Like I literally cannot wait for the summer. You and me girl, hitting the pavement. I probably should do a bit more moving in general. This whole setting up at the computer 8, 9 plus hours a day. Definitely can't be good for me. Anyways, talk soon.  

**Beep**

Girl. You are so photogenic. The camera obviously loves you. Like, really? I know you hate when the camera’s shoved in your face. But Wow. It's like you don’t even have a bad side! Wow, I miss your face and our cuddles. Wait. Remember that time you woke up in the middle of the night? Because you were upset that you couldn't sleep on my pillow? That's right, my pillow. Now what was that all about? Oh, crap. That's mom calling. I'll call you back.  

**Beep**

What's up bub? It's been a minute. Wait, here's a poem I wrote yesterday. I just wanted to call and see what you thought. Okay, it goes like this: “Sipping a glass of whiskey/ trying to get close to you/ But it doesn't burn the same way you did before.” What do you think? I mean, obviously, this poem is not about you. I know you don't drink. But let's take that out of it. Just let me know what you think I'm considering posting it on my blog. Maybe. Love you.  

**Beep**

Hey, girl. How's the pandemic treating you? Are you sick of mom and dad being around all the time interrupting your zoning out time? Anyways, call me back.  

**Beep**

Bro! Are you asleep again? Every time I call you're always asleep. It literally doesn't make any sense. How can you sleep all day and still sleep at night? Okay, anyways, call me back.  

**Beep**

Your birthday is coming up. I can hardly believe it. I'm super sad. I'm missing another birthday, yet again. But fret not. You're in my thoughts. Always. Plus, I heard you might be going on a camping trip! That's super exciting! Have you been camping before? I know how long car rides really make you nervous. But you know, just try to relax. Maybe take a nap since you seem to be such a pro at that. Anyways, have fun and call me back.  

**Beep**

Mom told me you've been snapping at people again recently. I just wanted to call and check in and see how you're feeling. You seem to be lashing out a lot recently. Are you okay? I wish I could be there to give you a hug. I mean, if you'd even want one. Gosh, you truly can be such an Aries sometimes. So fiery. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Talk to you later. 

**Beep**

Yesterday was wash day, and I was thinking: I truly do not miss having to detangle your hair, like your wash days too wild... anyways. When you get this give me a call back, bye. 

**Beep**

I was telling someone a story the other day about how we met. I don't even know if you remember. It was like, maybe, I don't know, 11 or 12 years ago. Time really do be flying, huh? Babe, I was so excited. I think Tal and I cried in the car on our way to meet you. At first we thought maybe “Sophie”, and I think we even tossed out “Amber”. But the best part, oh my gosh, the best part was when dad came home because I don't even think mom told him that you were going to be there. And when he saw you he asked: Where did that damn dog come from? We knew your name had to be Dede. I mean, I truly think you're one of a kind and not just some “damn dog”. Too bad you never returned any of my calls.  

**Beep**

Hey, I don't know if you're getting any of my messages. But you know, I really miss you. And I really hope that you give me a call back soon. Okay, talk to you soon.

Automated Voicemail Voice
The Mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time. Goodbye.

[music plays]

Rebekah
So yeah, like I mentioned, it got me thinking - if you can leave voicemails for your four-footed friend, is that something you'd even want the ability to do? And if you could, what would you say? And under what context would you even give them a call? I decided to post these questions to some of my friends who also have pets in their lives. And this is what Annabelle and Maria had to say.

Annabelle
I have a dog. And I feel like that's something that I already do. Usually if I'm FaceTiming my family, I’ll always ask for the dog to be put on, so that I can say hi, and ask her to do tricks. To sit, to pay attention, just to see if she recognizes my voice. I feel like it's just part of it, like when I come home, when she gets used to smelling me again, the fact that I know that she's heard my voice while I was gone, just makes me feel a little bit better. And like I'm still at home.

Mariajosé 
Even though I don't have pets of my own anymore, I would definitely send my pet a voicemail, or call them on the phone. When I was doing my 12th grade in France, living there for a year, I used to call my mom on the phone, and she would always put my dog on the phone. And I would just talk to her. And I was curious if she was doing well and if she was being treated nicely. And I told her that I missed her and that I love her so much. And I think it's just a really great way for me to connect with my pet. And just kind of let them know that you're there and let them hear your voice so that they don't feel like you're completely apart.

[music plays]

Rebekah
I also got a voice message from Janine to her dog.

Automated Voicemail Voice
Please leave your message.

**Beep**

Janine
Thank you for waking me up at 5am this morning. I really appreciate you scratching the carpet and wagging your tail at my door. And it really freaks me out how every morning you find a way to come to my room. But alas, I just want to tell you, I love you. And thank you for keeping me company during exam season. And I appreciate you, you know, having someone follow me around everywhere. It's special. And after exam season, I promise take you to a dog park because I know you're getting impatient. Love Janine.

[music plays]

Rebekah
So yeah, clearly I'm not the only person who's interested in talking to their dog on the phone. But I also decided to give my mom a call to see how she felt every time I asked to FaceTime Dede.

Damien
I'm absolutely devastated. 

Rebekah
[laughs] What does that mean?

Damien
Because I miss you so much. You're not home, and you call to talk to the dog instead of me. So, you know, I'm happy that -- I always send you pictures of the dog and everything because I know that sometimes with you being so far away, it's hard to have a connection to home. And I know that there's a comfort level there knowing that she is there. She would probably say: Rebekah, I'm asleep. Call me later. Call me between the hours of four and five. That's when I'm expecting people home. But in the meantime, leave me alone so that I can take my nap. I would think that she would ask you “where have you been?” And how come you haven't been home to see her? You know, some days she's just sitting around and she's kind of woofing, and I’ll say: Where's Rebekah? And then she'll start looking for you and she'll really start calling you. It's like she's actually calling you to be in the room with her.

[music plays]

Rebekah
In a 2017 article from The Atlantic "Why do humans talk to animals if they can't understand?" Ariane Rebolini speaks with anthrozoologist and professor of psychology at Western Carolina University, Hal Herzog, about the tendency for humans to talk to their pets like other humans. Herzog explains that it's a natural reaction for human beings as "natural anthropomorphizers, meaning we naturally tend to ascribe all kinds of thoughts and meanings to other things in our lives." Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley, author of Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want also refers to human tendency to talk with pets as a "sign of intelligence," as it stems from our brain's ability to pick up on consciousness from other humans, which I for one will be reminding folks every time I get a weird stare for talking to my dog on the phone. Sometimes I just wish my dog understood the concept of a FaceTime call. I mean, for me, I think about all the times I just want to check in. I really just talk to her out of comfort, especially during those peak times of the academic year, or even during bouts of loneliness from the pandemic. And quite honestly, just to check in to see how she's doing, especially as she ages. But what happens if your dog decides to ghost you? How do you then proceed with that relationship? I also wonder how others navigate long distance relationships with their pets. If this made you think, chuckle or even decide to FaceTime that pet of yours, connect with me on Twitter. That's @bex2241. Take care everybody and also shout out to Dede and my family that keeps her so well fed. Have a great one.

[outro music plays]